Sunday, May 1, 2011

And the Double Entendres Just Keep On, Er, Popping Up

Can I help it if the Chinatown stroke joint that wannabe-P.M. Layton patronized was called "The Velvet Touch"? Does that sound like the name of a reputable therapeutic massage clinic to you? No? G. Mammoliti ain't buying it either. From the Toronto Sun:
TORONTO - The Velvet Touch Massage parlour — where Jack Layton was found during a 1996 police visit — was suspected by himself and others to be a rub and tug since it opened, Councillor Giorgio Mammoliti says.
The massage parlour at 787 Dundas St. W., which ceased operations shortly after the police came calling, opened in 1994 and was among 26 suspected bawdy houses Toronto Police cracked down on with more than 300 charges.
Layton has denied any wrongdoing and said he did not know it was a suspected bawdy house.
Despite the Velvet Touch being a “pretty active illicit” operation, no one at City Hall received any complaints about it, he said.
“I’ve asked recently if anyone at City Hall had complained in 1996 and there were no complaints that came out of councillors, but police had their eye on it and at the end of the day, shut it down,” Mammoliti said. “I can pretty much guarantee wherever there’s a rub and tug, it’s run by organized crime and drugs are always a part of the equation. That’s just a reality of the business.”
As for his thoughts on Layton being caught in the room with an attractive 5-foot-10 Asian woman, he’s not really buying that the NDP leader didn’t know it was a place where he could get sexual services.
“He’s claiming he got a legitimate massage, but the issue here is it’s clear it was a rub and tug and most people in society would know that when they go in. I’d be very surprised that a very smart politician would not have known ... and Jack was very smart.”...
Exactly. Whether or not Jack--who, no doubt about it, was Born to Run--got the old hog buffed and polished and had its detail fully, er, pointed by a masseuse with a velvet touch who "strapped her hands across his engine" is rather beside the point. The point is that, of his own volition, he selected that particular establishment.

Which by no, um, stretch can be considered a wise move.

Update: Jack (and Jake) should have heeded this advice.

Update: Jack thought he was in a reputable massage parlour--one that was into NDP-style "diversity"--when he read its slogan on the wall: "Different strokes for different blokes." ;)

3 comments:

Richard K said...

Jack's Velvet Touch may not have has a website, but there are others that do. I did a quick rundown of some of the others and they are pretty clear about the type of "shiatsu" you can expect.

Minicapt said...

A rubber tug?
http://spoilurpets.com/heart-string-tugs-dog-toys-valentines-dog-gift-p-552.html

Cheers

Al the Fish said...

Maybe instead of a full hands on Shiatsu, Jack should ask for an invisible touch:

Well Ive been waiting, waiting here so long
But thinking nothing, nothing could go wrong, ooh now I know
She has a built in ability
To take everything she sees
And now it seems Im falling, falling for her.

She seems to have an invisible touch yeah
She reaches in, and grabs right hold of your heart
She seems to have an invisible touch yeah
It takes control and slowly tears you apart.

http://www.youtube.com/
watch?v=cK3N2DC3Fds